Escaping the Smoke of Burnout in BBQ Passion and Social Media

Owen: 0:00

Today's episode is brought to you by AOS Kitchens, the South's leading outdoor kitchen design and installation specialists. Welcome to a special episode of the Meet and Greet BBQ podcast. We're still in the process of setting up the next season, but we're recording this during the Christmas period. We thought we'd do a special episode that will resonate with people, but it's a bit about mental health. We'll be discussing social media and BBQ fatigue. Stay tuned, and here we go. So, dan, first and foremost, merry Christmas, mate. Did you have a nice time?

Dan: 0:50

Yeah, I did, thank you. It's been a bit of a funny December though. So much illness flying around, so much illness, although we managed to enjoy the big day. It just gets in the way of everything and with the nights being dark soon, and it becomes a struggle to do the stuff that you want to get done. Frankly, how was it for you?

Owen: 1:11

Yeah, I've had a really nice time, obviously, lots of time with the family. I haven't done much BBQing over Christmas, though, because I've been away at other people's houses cooking, so it feels like I haven't done much. Obviously, we're here to talk today. Certainly, I've been feeling, and obviously get your perspective, but maybe this will resonate with other people but we haven't been that active on social media, and that's my job in terms of dealing with the social media for the podcasters, as we've spoken about before. I'm feeling a bit of fatigue about it.

Dan: 1:52

But we've always said it should never become a job like an onus. We were doing this because we enjoy it and we want to engage with people and we want to talk about it. And the second, that you start feeling jaded about doing anything like that. I think it's a big sign to slow things down, take a breath, and it can be multiple reasons why it might be affecting you in that way, but I felt exactly the same, though. I felt exactly the same.

Owen: 2:18

But it's more than that for me. I haven't, actually, I've hardly cooked a BBQ. I've almost been feeling a bit of BBQ fatigue and I think, again, just busy life, like you said, it's just been damp and wet and dark. But you almost feel guilt and that's the reason I wanted to talk about it today is that I've done a few little bits here and there, just sort of quick cooks for the family. I've had absolutely no interest in taking pictures, recording it, no interest in putting it on social media. I've not even been checking our stats. I haven't been checking our, looking at our socials very often, things like that. I've almost completely just needed to take a break from it. But there is a guilt, almost, feels like because we have the podcast, because we talk about BBQ all the time and even just on a personal level, you know you've got to work and you're known as the BBQ guy or you're the BBQ guy in the family or whatever. There's almost like it feels like you should be barbecuing, especially when you talk to people all the time. Oh yeah, don't you BBQ 365? Always. You know I'm a 365. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter what the weather is, I'll always BBQ. And actually I just have not been asked. I have cooked more indoors in the last month than I think I have in the previous six months.

Dan: 3:43

Yeah, the other thing that I've found as well is I don't know if you'll find it's the same, but my daughter's been like, oh, let's have some pizza, let's have some pizza, let's cook some pizza. And the last thing I've wanted to do when we've all been ill, we've all been tired, it's dark by the time that you're back from work, whatever is to get out there and start feeding in the rockbox the little bits of wood and knowing that I'm going to be out there for an hour or so to get that heat up and everything. And, like you said, you feel guilty if that's what the children are asking for, particularly if they're engaged, because you want them to be interested in the fireside of cooking, the enjoyment and know that mentally there's a lot of perks to it as well. But it's just the last thing that I've wanted to do. I have done the odd bit of BBQ cooking. It sounds like maybe of them one or two more cooks than you have. But even when I've done photos for that, it's been an afterthought and you wouldn't even know really, unless I've said that I've done it on the BBQ, because all the photos are inside me carving it, or I've done accompaniments that have been indoors and that's all you're seeing. And it then starts to make you question well, I shouldn't be feeling like I have to be proving to people that I am BBQing anyway and doing it on Instagram. It's not about that, it's about enjoying it. So that's also kind of put me off the social media aspect of it as well. It's not something that should be making us feel guilty, because it shouldn't be a job. It should be something that we're enjoying.

Owen: 5:09

Yeah, no, I agree, and similarly been feeling the same. Irrespective of whether the kids want it or not, a BBQ or myself or the wife, it's just Every time you cook. You almost feel like I should probably document this. Yeah, we haven't posted on social media this week or having this month for or whatever it was, and actually what has always been obviously just a true passion Love, cooking outdoors and the well-being and stuff actually Starts to become a chore. Yeah, and then and I think that's the point I've got to this year, certainly in the last month or so, where it now felt like it was a chore because I felt like I had to do it. Yeah, do you know? I mean, it was almost like, oh, I don't think I should fry an egg outside. I've bought a black stone. I can cook an egg in outside. It should be doing outside while my using my hob. Yeah, but that's because it's three degrees outside and I can't be asked.

Dan: 6:02

Yeah, exactly that, and I said with timings and things, okay, black stone, it's still gonna be very quick, kind of cook and set up, but anything else if you're lighting it and, yes, with a chimney starter you can get it up and running 15 minutes, etc. But you think by the time that's done I could have actually cooked and then get it sorted. Particularly think I'm probably not gonna Enjoy this. The frustrating thing for me is I know that if I got out there and Let it and start cooking on it because I have enjoyed it, when I've done it, like the two times this month I have I know I'll enjoy it and I'll get something out of it. But it's the thought of doing it. I don't even know if we need to be talking about how you get over that or if it's more about just acknowledging it and not beating yourself up about it and letting yourself take a breath and fall back in love with it.

Owen: 6:51

Yeah, you're right, I think where we're, where I've not cooked as much the two or three times this month that I have cooked outside. And I'm talking, I cooked some sausages One night and I fried some chicken, yeah, on the black. I say fried, you know, cook some chicken on the black stone for the kids, but I did really enjoy it, mm-hmm, but I think I went in there with it, right, there's no pressure to. I'm not gonna Document it. I've got no interest in doing that. In terms of getting over it, I Think, probably just the break, mm-hmm actually, and just remembering why. Why we do it in the first place, yeah, and Not doing it just for the podcast, yeah, and to try grow followers and likes and all that kind of stuff, but just doing it, almost remembering the reason that we got into it in the first place was just because we like being outside and we like cooking outside and we like fire and we like all of that. I've been quite looking forward to a talking about it, obviously in this, in this special episode, because I've been feeling it for a while and you know mean you actually haven't met up for Nearly two months now, yeah, so that you know it's not long after sizzle fest. Probably was the last time that we got got together, so we haven't had the opportunity necessary to get on a recording and talk about it or really cook together, mm-hmm.

Dan: 8:18

Although obviously you're here, yeah, not only today just to do that.

Owen: 8:22

But obviously we're gonna do some cooking and actually I feel like now, as we kind of coming into the new year and not Almost feel like a bit of revitalization, you know, I mean I'm almost Wanting to get outside and and cook now, although we had a whole schedule planned and it's now pin it down with rain.

Dan: 8:41

Classic Britain, right, classic Britain. Part of the problem that I've had is and we've talked about on the podcast that I was in the process of moving. We've got 12 weeks down the cycle. I'd already started packing things up because we got to draft contract stage and then that house sale fell through. But I already got in my head right, I'm not really gonna be doing much barbecuing now until after we've moved. I put everything to one side when back on the market we sold again. That also fell through and Well documented the mortgage situation in the UK at the moment. But already in my head I've said, right, I've put that away, I've put that away, package the all the accessories away. I'd pretty much boxed up the rockbox ready and you think I don't want to get it back out now If I know that hopefully in another five, ten weeks I'll put it back away. I'd sorted the monolith out so I was happy that it could just be carted, as it were. I have used that again, obviously because I've done Well. I've done a turkey crown to do festivity stuff, I've done a ham on there and I've done steaks. That's literally probably more like a month and a half to two months. That's all I've done on the barbecue there's those three cooks as I've enjoyed it, but in my head I'd mentally switched off from barbecuing. Similarly, when it comes to podcast recordings, I Don't really have a space at the moment. I can do recording, so it's good that we're here over yours than we can do this now, and we are, of course, gonna put more episodes out as something else. I think we ought to get across the people, considering that the social media had gone very quiet. We're still gonna be on it, but between the two of us has made it very difficult to even have Conversations really about barbecue and get things planned in. What I would say is, when we were at sizzle fest and we were talking to people, I think the fatigue isn't just a menu conversation. I don't know if it's kind of the fallout on how everything happens since 2020 and life moves on and people get into this, that and the other, but people have been saying that they've been barbecuing less and less than they had done. Of course, we had a great time when we went down to AOS and we did cooking a Jodies, but it's not the same as us just getting our hands stuck into something proper, you know, but it'd be great to hear people's reactions to this and see if other people think I'm in the same sort of fatigue and the questions and the guilt, weirdly, you know, yeah absolutely.

Owen: 10:59

I'm really interested to know if people are going through the same thing, and I think guilt is the right word. You almost feel guilty for not using the equipment, and certainly for someone like myself, as I know that loads of people out there are not just a one person, a one barbecue person, yeah when I've got so much and I've spent invested so much time, effort and money into them and then just still not getting out there. I think, oh, it's almost like buying a treadmill, right, yeah, buying a treadmill, using it once and then going. It's a very expensive clothes hanger.

Dan: 11:40

Yeah, or gym membership, exactly the same. Go to the gym once or twice in one month and then six months later you think I haven't been back. Yeah, and that's sitting there. It's a huge draw on finances that could have been used on something else, you know. You know that possibly if you're better for doing and getting involved with it, and then you start beating yourself up for the wrong reasons, right.

Owen: 12:00

Well, it's just I was thinking about it the other day that you know, for example, the Traeger. I think I've used that twice this year. Yeah, you know, it's a 1500-pound piece of kit and I've used it twice. Mm-hmm, you know, it's different in that it's a one-off investment and that's where that kind of guilt comes in that I almost feel like I still need to justify it to myself. I've spent thousands and thousands of pounds on barbecues. I should be using them. There's no need for me to use my kitchen. Yeah, I don't need to. I bought, I've specifically bought certain types to do certain things, and I like the fact that I can have a rotation, but I've just not even been bothered about using one, let alone eight. Yeah, so it's interesting. But yeah, I'd love to hear what other people, other people think and if they feel the same and actually what they did to kind of get out. It's almost like a little funk, isn't it? Just kind of get out, get out your funk and and and see what other people did and have they got back to that love of what they had before? They kind of went through that, that process? If you've been looking or thinking about an outdoor kitchen, then look no further than AOS outdoor kitchens.

Dan: 13:17

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Owen: 13:22

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Dan: 13:37

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Owen: 13:50

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Dan: 14:04

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Owen: 14:15

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Dan: 14:19

I wonder if it's a chicken and egg situation, do you have the funk and that's making you feel guilty and you know you just you haven't barbecued and now the funk set in, or if you were just feeling off slightly in the first place. Lot of things have been happening Mentally, not quite right or wanting to get involved, and then it grows on you and it could be a bit like what's it called the seasonal Sad yeah yeah, but like that, you know it's getting cold out there, it's being wet, there's so many illnesses going around people coughing, people being sick, children having to take time off school occasionally, people having to take time off work and you think I don't really want to then go out in the cold and be handling food in that way Either. Or if someone's not feeling right and you're cooking for the family, you're thinking right, will do something plain and simple. I'm not gonna do plain pasta On a barbecue with a slice of ham for the kids. What's the point? Yeah, you know, but what comes first? Because that could be part of the question of well, how do you solve this old right word? I don't know if solve? is get through it you know.

Owen: 15:27

Yeah, I said I just think it's kind of kept trying to remember the reason you got into it in the first place. But, weirdly enough, for as much as we're talking About Really, you know, I lost lost focus on the social media. Still not sure I've got that back. I still haven't got the hunger back for social media to be fair and posting about food and stuff, although obviously we're gonna create some content today and actually cooking, just in general. What I have missed is Recording. Yeah, I think I've probably missed that more than Than the cooking itself, mm-hmm. So I'm looking. I appreciate we did the special episode with Jody and Marco from Delevita. Yep, we're doing this as a kind of one-off episode as well. I'm looking forward to us getting back into a regular schedule, yeah, of doing 15 to 20 episodes talking to other people quick, you know, creating new content, stories, and I think that's gonna be something to look forward to yeah, I thought could be slightly further down the line then we want it to be, depending on when I can record, when, timings, etc.

Dan: 16:38

So it might be that you'll have to Put up with us doing a few of these type of episodes, whether this turns into a mini sort of series when it's the two of us talking and how often we can get this sorted and done for you. It's gonna still be content out there. But, yeah, definitely from my point of view, the house-moving situation has been so, so frustrating and Stressful and I feel so much better when that's when that's done. And currently, if we were gonna do a bachelor of recordings In the way that we normally do, it would have to be downstairs in my living room and we were recording three, four times a week at 8 pm. It's not really that fair on the family as part of the problem Doesn't mean there's not ways around. It would be so much easier once everything like that is sorted, whereas Owen and I sitting here chatting, quite frankly, crap to each other, which one of the bits of feedback we got is people wanted to hear more from us as well when we were talking to people. That's just the first that's.

Owen: 17:37

That's still weird that people just want to hear our voices.

Dan: 17:39

Yeah, I know. Nearly three years in why my brain struggles here in mind every day. But yeah, we will keep doing bits and pieces and, as Owen said, that we would like to, where possible, hear people's views on this topic that we're talking about. Whether we Put out a post or do a story, asking questions about it, I don't know and we're not going to promise anything like that. But do engage in any ways you can, even if you just drop us a DM message and have a chat to us.

Owen: 18:08

Yeah, and on that point, actually, we're still planning what to do for season six. Who to speak to, of course, when we're actually going to get to sit down and do it. But Let us know, let us know your ideas. You know if, if you've listened once or to all of our episodes, you kind of know what we do and how we do it. But if you think we can make it better in any way, shape or form we're not precious no, please, please, reach out and let us know. If we can make it better in any way, shape or form, then we're more than happy to try things out, mm-hmm. So do drop us a message and let us know. But yeah, I just feel like it's better to just I feel better for talking about it. Yeah, and I said we'd love to hear what you guys think.

Dan: 19:05

One thing that we haven't touched on about this thunk and the more we're talking about it, it makes me think about it out loud. Do you think part of it is the pressure of thinking well, I need to do something different every time. If I'm going to be documenting it, if I'm going to be trying different things, Because I know that I definitely felt, towards September, October time, when I was still more regularly cooking, I kept thinking I'm doing this all the time. I should be doing something different because otherwise it's going to make my feed look boring, or am I going to be missing out on skills? I mean, I did that feather blade which I really, really enjoyed, which was a different cook for me. I did a brisket because I hadn't done a brisket for a while. But all of a sudden I'm thinking, oh, am I going to do another smash cock chicken? Am I going to do another chicken? And it stops becoming about doing something you enjoy for the point of enjoying it, and it starts feeling more like a job. Is that something that you felt?

Owen: 19:58

Yeah, a little bit, because there are a few things that I've done where I've taken photos and they're not good enough quality photos and then that goes into your mind thinking crap, I haven't taken a good enough photo. Now I can't put that on social media, that looks rubbish.

Dan: 20:16

The ironic thing about that is we've always said that we don't put filters on our pictures. We think it's important to be honest. Maybe we should just stop putting those sorts of caveats on ourselves, because I'm the same If I take some photos, I don't think it looks that nice, I'm like I'm not going to post that. And then you start thinking, oh, was that a waste of time which it shouldn't be about, because you're cooking, you're eating. Maybe we should just take that off our own shoulders, just post it, even if we think it looks crap, stick it up there and we talk about the fact that. Being honest, not really happy with the photo, food was great, though I wanted to show people what we're up to.

Owen: 20:49

Yeah, yeah, maybe we should. And again, it's just you get to. That's the thing about socials, isn't it? You know, everyone's picture perfect.

Dan: 20:59

Well, again, I think that's part of our frustration. So and this isn't leveled at the barbecue community, because I don't think they're guilty of this but social media has been so toxic and people laughing at each other and having to go at things just in general, and it's very easy to just go into reels, scroll up, scroll up, scroll up, scroll up, and it's all this person's fake, that person's fake. Have you seen what this is? Have you seen what that is? Let's laugh at this person. This is awful, that is awful. You then stick on the news and every single story is negative, negative, negative. You're on Facebook and people complain about this than the other and I think stepping away from that probably for us both, has been a good thing mentally. But then the flip side of that is we're posting less, probably because we're getting a bit jaded with those platforms and I'm not going to mention Twitter or X or whatever the hell you want to call it. I always think that's more of a kind of cave of people angry at each other just screaming into the darkness. I never really want to kind of get involved with that. But yeah, I think all the algorithms and everything have been a bit frustrating. I've enjoyed Christmas Because there's been a lot more nice and positive things going up, but before that I told you people having to go at each other and look what else the government's done wrong. Look what else is wrong with the roads. Look at all these storms coming in and all the havoc it's causing people. I think that can get toxic quickly as well. I don't know if any other people have been feeling that way, but that's definitely something. I fell yeah.

Owen: 22:34

Yeah, definitely that's the kind of it for me. There's not much else I wanted to kind of sort of say for this episode, but we're still here and I'd like to also stress we're both okay.

Dan: 22:46

We both did move, ember, you know Kind of the support on the mental health side and I don't want either of or anyone thinking, oh, they did the struggling this way or the other. It's not about that. It's just we've both found that we have struggled on the barbecue side and the social media side and we've both felt a bit guilty about that, because we know how much you support us when we're doing things and we don't take that for granted at all. Very thankful of everything that you guys are doing, but we're conscious that we want to keep providing Things for yourselves that you can enjoy and you can engage with and people can talk About and discuss, which we still can't get over. That's what we get from the podcast and if anyone's struggling, which out to us because we'll love to talk to you and Kind of just discuss anything and make sure that you can be okay as well. But, um, yeah, it's a weird one that we thought was important to get out there and discuss. And Please don't feel any pressure on yourselves either in regards to posting on social media. Don't let that affect you, because so many things go wrong at the moment. Let's that's all be kind to ourselves and what we can do, but we'll be back on more episodes, don't worry. That's another episode of the meet and greet barbecue podcast. Thank you so much for listening, oh, and I are gonna be doing the best that we can to put together more episodes for yourselves, so keep an eye out for that. We might do a bit of a mini series. That is going to be just over and I kind of talking to each other about different topics, but we'd love to hear from you about any ideas you have or anything you want to hear. So please do find us on social media meeting greet barbecue podcast. You'll find our Instagram from that. You'll find for our Facebook group from that. You also find our website from that and you can contact us in any of those ways. You can also email us as well. You can find those links on the website or even in the podcast bio as well. But until next time, today's episode of the meeting greet barbecue podcast is brought to you by a OS outdoor kitchens. They are the sales leading outdoor kitchen design and installation specialists.